Zest & Zip. Fun & Flare.

I'm craving fresh air and citrus. The clean smell of pine and seaspray. The feel of cold wind on my face.

This desire for zest and zip hits me every winter, but this year it's set in much earlier than usual.

I'm out of sorts lately. Maybe it's the strange sleep schedule I've been keeping, or the shortening winter days (made shorter by my strange sleep schedule of staying up all night, dropping into bed at dawn, and sleeping until after noon). Or maybe it's the way I've been binge-reading the last two books in the Hunger Games trilogy, making me feel like I'm living in two worlds at once, even my dreams soaked in that fictional world.

Or maybe it's that my body feels stiff and my mind sluggish from not playing roller derby or exercising for weeks. Or maybe it's a cluttered feeling in my head created and mirrored back to me by every dirty and disheveled room in my house.

Perhaps I'm not drinking enough water, and it can't help that I haven't been taking my vitamins. Maybe it's too many hours spent on the computer without enough time outside to balance me out.

Quite possibly, it's all of these.

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I love the self-portrait at the top of this post. It's out of focus and overexposed, I know. But I love the sunflare peeking around the side of my head. I love how the blurriness softens the enormous pimple that was on my chin that week. I love that behind me, even though you can't see it, is the wide open Pacific ocean. I love that my hair looks like orange fire with streaks of purple and white. I love how alive and happy I look.

I took that photo a few weeks ago on the Washington coast. Right before a gorgeous day flared out to twilight, a dear friend and I romped around the beach, dancing and being silly, taking pictures of ourselves.  I've been back for two weeks now, and I've been deep in the throes of creative entrepreneurship since then. So deep that I still haven't fully unpacked. My old nemeses of laundry and dirty dishes have called in reinforcements and are threatening to take over the kitchen, the basement, and my bedroom. In the war that we call housekeeping, the bathrooms are in constant danger of falling to the enemy (the enemy being filth and general disorder). If you don't hear from me for another week, please send reinforcements, preferably someone who knows how to wield a mop.

This weekend I'm planning to sweep things clean, literally and figuratively. I'll tidy up the house, go for a walk, drink extra water, take my vitamins, eat some oranges. I'll do the laundry, stretch out my cranky muscles, make myself get up before 10 so I can stop dwelling in darkness like a vampire. I'll wash the dishes and cook a meal. Maybe I'll strap on my roller skates and work up a sweat. Maybe I'll pretend that I'm back on that beach at sunset and run around like a goofball, creating my own fun and flare.

Write into the Heart of Your Story: Starts Sunday

It's been great to read the names of the people registering for my upcoming e-course. Some of you I know and have worked with before, and many of you are new names to me -- and both of these things make me so very happy! It's a great feeling to see that what I'm putting out into the world is resonating with so many of you. Thank you to everyone who has signed-up so far. You'll receive the first email on Sunday. (And look for your invitation to the community group to come this weekend, too.)

If you haven't registered yet but would like to, there's still a spot for you. (Registration is still open, and you will have access to all course materials, even if you sign-up after the start date.) Please keep reading for all the details and the registration button. updated 11/18/13: Registration is now closed. (The official course page is over here, but why click when you can scroll?)

If you have any questions about the course, please feel free to leave a comment below or email me. (There's also a short FAQ section at the end of this post.) 

If you're new to me and my work, you might like to read some past student testimonials to get a feel for things. If so, please check out the right-hand sidebar on this page.

Write into the Heart of Your Story (Nov. 10-24)

an online course for writers at all stages

Writing the stories of your life is about more than recording a series of events. It's about creating meaning and connection.

Whether you're writing blog posts, essays, a memoir, or in your journal, how do you write beyond what happened and into the heart of a story?

In this 2-week online course, we'll explore ways to write into the heart of your story using prompts, exercises, and techniques that you can use again and again.

What the Course Includes:

• Daily posts sent to your email inbox with that day's content
• A lovely mix of instruction and inspiration
• Writing prompts to discover your stories
• Exercises to explore your personal creative process
• Techniques to dive deeper into your story's meaning
• Resources to keep the momentum going
• An optional, private community space to connect with other participants (housed on Facebook)

Registration: $27.00 (closed)

Two notes about email:
1) If you would like to receive the course emails at an address that is different than what you use for payment, please put your preferred email address in the "Notes" section when you check-out.

2) If you use Gmail, remember to check your "Promotions" tab for the daily course emails.

FAQ

What do I need to take the course?
You'll need an email address and an Internet connection. (You might like to have a journal or notebook that you use for the course, or you might prefer to write on your computer or typewriter.)

Do I have to have a Facebook account to participate?
Nope! The private community group on Facebook is totally optional. The group will be private, so only course participants will be able to see the contents and posts in the group.

I'm not a writer. Is this course for me?
Yes! If the idea of writing stories from your life appeals to you, this course is for you. We'll use a variety of prompts and exercises that are accessible and no-stress, whatever your writing experience.

I am a writer. Is this course for me?
Yes! Even if you've been writing for awhile, the practice of digging deeper into your stories will be useful. I'll be sharing techniques that significantly improved my own writing when I learned them after years of being a writer.

Snippets of Today

Snippets of today...

Something beautiful:
Sometimes I look at the sky and wonder if anyone else loves it as much as I do. Then I get on Instagram and know that the answer is yes, they do. One of the best skies around these parts can be found above a shopping plaza with a Lowe's, a Target, a Giant Eagle grocery store, and a gas station. Weather seems to roll in from behind the Lowe's, and I've seen some amazing thunderstorms come rumbling into that parking lot from beyond the distant treeline. Today, as I stood in that plaza and pumped gas into my car, half of the sky was dark hazy blue, an early twilight. The other half was bright gold and clean blue, wisps and streaks and tuffs of white clouds, all of it bedazzling in the late afternoon sunlight. It was the golden hour, infusing even a concrete jungle with magic.

Something true:
The elderly woman who works at the library spent a long time explaining to me the process by which books  flit from city to city as part of the county's interlibrary loan system. I thought at first that she was lecturing me, scolding me for wasting the librairians' time, since I'd put a few books from another branch on hold and then forgotten to pick them up. But her eyes were dancing and her voice was kind, and I realized that she was just keen on how it all works: the lists that print out each morning, the green bins of books sorted by branch, the van that shuttles all those volumes from place to place. I didn't quite know what to say, but I wish I'd thought to tell her: "You do good work here." 

Something funny:
Tonight, a friend pulled a hand-crocheted something from a plastic shopping bag and handed it to me, saying, "Here. Give this to your husband." Before I tell you what that something is, you need to know the back story. My friend's father-in-law used to work at a nursing home. When one of the residents, whom I've decided to name Edna, passed away, she left bags and bags of yarn behind, which no one claimed. The father-in-law said he'd take the yarn home to give to his wife, an avid knitter. That's when they found, amidst Edna's bags and bags of yarn, a white plastic Walmart bag filled with these crocheted things. They came in various sizes and colors, including rainbow, camouflage, red and white striped, and a soft ivory. A note in the bag read, simply, "22 25 Peter Heaters." Yes, Edna had crocheted more than two dozen coverings for the male genitalia: one tubular compartment connected to two round compartments, adorned with pom-poms at the end of two long tassels*. Sweet goodness, I have so many questions for the dearly departed Edna! Including, but not limited to, what prompted her to decide that 22 just weren't enough Peter Heaters. And if she'd lived longer, would she have crossed out that 25 and kept adding to the collection? I want to know: What was your story, Ms. Edna?

(*And no, I won't post a photo of it, but if you do a web search you'll find plenty of similar visuals for your amusement.)

Dealing with Emotions when Writing

Writing. It can bring stuff UP, can't it?

Emotional stuff. Itchy-scratchy stuff. Twitchy stuff.

It's bound to happen when we're giving form to stories that have formed parts of who we are. Writing from real life (memoir, essays, blog posts,  autobiographical poetry -- even fiction based on real events) can be messy business. So what do we do with all of those intense emotions?

This question comes up a lot with my coaching clients and students. In fact, someone asked it during my workshop in Portland two weekends ago. I offered a few options, but I suspected they weren't really hitting the mark for this person. Then another participant offered a suggestion, and it was spot-on.

Different things work for different people at different times. It's good to have options. Here's a short list of ways to handle your emotions when writing.

1. Give yourself distance. Giving yourself time and space from an event before you write about it can be a very good thing. If writing about something overwhelms you, consider putting it aside until you're ready to come back to it. That might be hours, days, months, or years later. Writing can be healing, of course, but if it's causing you serious pain or trauma, there's no need to push on indefinitely.
2. Get support. If you're ready to write a hard story from your life but feel a bit shaky, find some support. Talk to your therapist or a trusted person who can support you. Sometimes we just need to remember that we're not alone.
3. Write in short bursts. No one says you have to write the whole thing through front to back in one sitting, one week, or one month. Maybe you can only handle writing an emotional story in little bits and pieces. That's perfectly fine. Write what you can handle, and then take a breather. Try doing something soothing or fun in-between bursts.
4. Remember that you're safe. If you're writing a story that involves pain or trauma from your past, remind yourself that you, the writer in this moment, are safe. (I'm assuming that you are indeed in a safe space and time in your life. If not, please find support and safety first.) You might want to repeat "I am safe" as a sort of mantra, or post a comforting phrase or image near your writing space to remind you that you are in the safe present, not the dangerous past.
5. Create a physical container to hold emotion. This is the suggestion that one of my students made a few weeks ago. She said that she learned it in Christina Baldwin's book Storycatcher: Making Sense of Our Lives Through the Power and Practice of Story. (I haven't read this book yet, but I always hear good things about it, so it's on my list.) The idea, as my student explained it, is to get a physical container with a lid, perhaps a box or jar, that you open when you write and close when you're done. The hard emotions "live" in the container, which you can close up and put away when you're done writing, so you don't carry that intense energy with you into the rest of your day. After doing this several times, you begin to train your nervous system to let go of the stress and emotions when you're done writing.
6. Focus on creating art. This is probably my favorite tip for managing my own emotions when writing. Writing for your own healing or enjoyment is different from crafting a piece of writing into something beautiful or profound. Both are good, and I do both. When I'm writing in my journal, I'm often processing raw emotions, and that can be intense for me. But when I'm focused on writing an essay and imbuing it with meaning that will connect with other readers, I'm no longer in that raw place. Instead, I'm operating as an artist. Here's an excerpt from an interview with author Heather Sellers on the website "Creative Writing Now" that helps to explain what I mean:

Q: What kind of emotional distance from the subject matter do you think is necessary for effective memoir writing? Could you offer some advice for beginning memoirists on how to obtain the right kind of distance in their memoir writing?

A: It's a weird thing. You have to be completely in it and completely out of it, both at once. You can't dump all this unprocessed scary stuff on the reader. Art-making -- literature -- is the process of making a beautiful container to hold what can't be contained. You take the raw emotions, and the darker they are, the more beautiful the container must be. I'm not sure if it's a question of distance versus closeness -- because you need both, a kind of double-vision, so you can be who you were then on the page, but held and guided by who you are now. It's absolutely a question of insight. Do you have insights -- hard won, valuable, useful insights that other people might find applicable in their own lives? I think if you work on the insight piece, the close-far thing takes care of itself.

What helps you deal with the emotions that come up when you write? Please share in the comments.

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Join me for Write into the Heart of Your Story, November 10-24. Writing the stories of your life is about more than recording a series of events, but how do you write beyond what happened and into the heart of a story? Learn more.

Stories Make Us More Alive

I'm traveling home this weekend, making the longish flight from Seattle to Pittsburgh. I'm filled to the brim with excitement, inspiration, and stories -- oh so many wonderful stories -- from last weekend's Soul Sisters retreat, along with a week spent dreaming/scheming/creating with a dear friend and creative cohort. I'm always sad to say goodbye to the Pacific Northwest, but always grateful for the beauty I soak up while I'm here. I'm going home with renewed energy and focus, and it feels delightful.

Whatever you do this weekend, may it be full of stories told, stories heard, and stories lived.

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Join me for Write into the Heart of Your Story, November 10-24.

Writing the stories of your life is about more than recording a series of events, but how do you write beyond what happened and into the heart of a story? In this course, you'll learn techniques for diving into the beauty, meaning, and connections of the stories of your life. Registration for this two-week online course is $27.